Poetry

Muffled

2010-05-26T14:22:00.001-07:00

The loneliness just drills too deep
It brings quick tears so i can finally drift to sleep
Beautiful boy just soften the grip
I no longer fit so just help me slip

Poisons circulate through body and mind
Wish i could flip back the hour glass & have more time
Bloody feet tripping through sand and shells
Desert heat makes me feel i really am in hell

The walls echo my own voice
I answer back because i have no other choice
The silence frightens & i end under the covers
My last muffled cry will hover through this air forever

Flowers Love the Rain & Sun

2010-05-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

We both smile, laugh, cry, & yell
But one thing I know baby I can already tell
This distance will never make me fail
My love for you has been set a sail

I see the same stars as you
I wish I could watch them with you
It's like flowers love the rain & sun
Always here to listen I promise to never run

It tears me apart that I don't get to see you everyday
It's hard not to wake up next to you like we used to back in the day
Days like these I listen to your songs
To hear your voice again makes me feel we're not that far

I hope to help you to have the same strength
Because I'd do anything for you, I'd go to endless lengths
This is me giving you my whole heart
Someday sweetie we won't have to be apart

Feelings

2010-05-14T05:54:00.001-07:00

assuming for the worst
because that's all that's been shown
sour words are deceiving me
it speaks words that define differently

the expeditions are everyday, failed or complete
stress projecting from eyes like the torpedoing rain
how do I find myself now?
I can't seem to see my future anyhow

melodies sing sweetly to sleep
we all are trying to make it back to our feet
taking on other shoes every second
i evaluate to understand every minute

Daft

2010-04-06T19:35:00.001-07:00

with this passing time
take this magnify glass to mind
analyze her with your precious eyes
that wouldn't happen she's just believing in lies

we don't need these poisons to be daft
insanity comes natural that's a fact
accelerating the emotions away to a reserved place
bottle ourselves up like it's some kind of race

he preaches his hypocrisy
he doesn't care to see the good inside
branching out and trying to recite
floored with words and a blow to the eye

unfaithful and indecisive accord crossing aisles
she has been rejected from the start why all these lies?
bearing her sorrows deep in her chest
she'll journey with a mask just like the rest

Opposites

2010-03-20T09:11:00.001-07:00

you ask and you shall not receive
that's what's been given to me
1 2 3 turn a blind he'll fuck you hard
how the fuck did i get this part

you give and you shall receive nothing
i guess we should have seen this coming
sticks stones do break my bones
and words really hurt me deep

shit hits the fan
we can only hope we will once again stand
i'm bubbling from the inside
about to burst out from the insides

we can only hope for new order
but what happens when you can't even rub two quarters
set in for a new wild life
we'll just take this high line

Actuality

2010-03-17T13:04:00.001-07:00

Actuality

-definition: fact, real

-fact isn’t always real (things proven to be wrong from past to present facts)

-real isn’t always fact

-the state of something being actual could be an action, a tangible object, or spiritual (seen or not seen)

Aliens

2010-03-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

i've painted it out in my mind
i'm an artist that draw out these lines
carried away by these fuzzy sounds in time
the people make us want to scream out loud

how could they make those stars fall on us tonight
while the day brought us beautiful waves of delight
the desperate reach out for help
the bloated keep their treasures to themselves

aliens they seem to be
they don't show human nature they poke till you bleed
toiling with heads, altering senses
even doctors can't help the conditions

neutral and steady we must remain ready
watching for the swarm in, we don't want any hostility with this
turbulent and storming, i've been unstable all morning
please just wrap us up tight, so i can forget all my worries tonight

baby, i just need you to make me feel safe
i'll be satisfied that's all i ask i don't want many things
we all need simple materials, why am i different from others?
I'm pushed and pulled, i know you see some hurt within me

Watched Over You

2010-02-01T19:06:00.001-08:00

with this pain that's been given to you
it isn't something to bring you down
but help you to grow older

i didn't plan this all out in some kind of scheme
to watch you be built up and fall to pieces
i wish i had a decoder to help read the future

i'm not trying to lead you on a path that's lonely
you're straying from the friends that once watched over you
i'm trying to be fair and let us do our own

sometimes actions and words lead us to a new consciences
doesn't mean that you got dirt on my shirt and i hate you for it
we need our space to feel as if we never spoke of it

this is a time of the most change i'll have in my life
to determine the person i'll be forever, i don't to be heartless
just don't make the big picture turn shapeless

Birds & Bees

2009-12-21T08:37:00.001-08:00

this is how it feels
upside down and backwards, it's the kind of feel
we can't help it, it's just what happens to you
if you let it get to you afterwards

the birds and the bees
all come together in a cycling wind
it's just what the doctor ordered for me
some kind of fucking disease?

mommy helped you into your bed, you asked for help
what's inside my head?
we wish for a time machine
wishing things would be, how they used to be

the past is still the past
sometimes those who wish it would last
can't live with what they have
even though it's the present that will always surpass

Uncle Sam

2009-11-11T14:14:00.001-08:00

need a twist
we need a new spin
tired of the same routine
i'm becoming a zombie to this worlds energy

we're decaying in this free world
losing site on the concept that we've worked for
the hypocrisy still remains
that's one thing that will always stay the same

Uncle Sam please tell me
What is it that you have in store for these families?
Their children i sit here and watch them weeping
How could you take away their activities?

They're cold hungry and they're dying
Let me put your blood at their level, do you feel at ease?
Watch them suffer and start to drift away
Fix something now, or this will be your families fate

Veiled Reaper

2009-11-02T09:36:00.001-08:00

it's just you and your shadow
scrutinizing the bedroom corners
shadows dancing turning to tangible figures
then disappearing back into shadows

the color scheme screaming an angry message
you're racing for hours your mind in stereo
the night finally comes to bid you some fright
it's haunting you

the walls feel as they're caving from the knocking
the long scratches across the bedroom floors are sickening
you're eyes and ears are playing the tricks on you
you're not quite sure how you're going to get through

to your right you hear the veiled reaper
summoning you to go to the dark trenches of hell
adultery is the sin he wants you to commit
you turn to say "sir the temptation is zero percent"

Walk All Over Me

2009-10-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

i want to tear free and disappear for a vacation setting
sit back relax enjoy the worlds joyous new on comings
my perspective is twisted strewn and burnt out for a fact
i need a place of comfort and company to help my anguish at last

no one tries to understand my uncanny functioning
i watch the pouring rain, it pelts to the ground as it's enemy
the rain seeping through my jeans as veins of a flowers stem
even the rain thinks it can walk all over me as do my friends

Mental Ties

2009-10-20T18:18:00.001-07:00

the desolation of this room matches my frame of mind
believed i acquired a winning hand of cards
once again he read my mind
i failed and withdrew myself from this misery game

never been what you call the hero
always handed the short stick
never been able to have my choice and pick
they point out the flaws to get to my heart

the plague hits at last
isolated away, in prison built with diamonds
no way to break through a crystalized wall
why do i choose to let this happen?

the people always talk they never seem to stop
alienated to a different location, yet we're still in the same vocation
observed from all sides, regaining my mental ties
please god i want to wake up and feel alive

misery is the game that everyone plays
i can't even explain my worries in words anyways
it's the same thing as always
i just wish that i could stop the tears from falling

A Novel Yet Untold

2009-10-01T01:22:00.001-07:00

The story begins to unfold once again
A novel yet untold from my perspective and glance
It was a cheat and lie to put me through this analysis
Forever will I never comprehend such a being

Twisted and strewn the history that was told to me
I felt a suffering for your dismal sob scene
You're a good act maybe you should join a drama team
I'll admit I saw the whole exhibition coming

It's too bad you still have such a despairing life
I've found something that I feel is so right
You still haven't figured out how to let the fuck go
But I'm done, just going to let you drown in your sorrow

Tomorrow is always another beautiful day
Maybe you just need someone to pray
You've fallen astray to a delusional disarray
I don't know what to say, it's your time to pay

It's Pretty Lonely When You're All Alone

2009-09-30T05:03:00.001-07:00

You walked through the door with a smile that glows
Little did I know about your devilish soul
Ripped my heart to pieces and you act like you
didn't even have the slightest care
I'll bring something to this new suppers table

It's pretty lonely when you're all alone
When you can hear the creaking door
You find that all of what you've worked for
has seemed to just be a work in disguise
Can't you possibly see the pain that hides behind these eyes?
Why don't you see the little girl that's suffering inside?

Spin me round send me for the grounds
My mind is wild with these gory written pictures
How could I think of you in that way?
You torn my world to pieces now it's
time for me to give you a show

It's pretty lonely when you're all alone
When you can hear the creaking door
You find that all of what you've worked for
seemed to just be a work in disguise
Can't you possibly see the pain that hides behind these eyes?
Why don't you see the little girl that's suffering inside?

Not Like Another Disease

2009-09-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

the heart beat quickens
the stomach no longer sick
mind isn't full of all desperation
you help my mind clear the complications

I could lay next to you for hours
speak my mind about my faux pas
you hold me like it's the last moment we'll share
you don't mind my fashion you just care

I'm not good with this thing called happiness
it's been a while since I've been able to feel the emotion
I've wasted time over something that was already broken
but somethings I need to learn on my own

it's crazy how much you've changed
the way you present yourself to the world
seems like you had an exchange
I like the smiles and laughter that was brought with this alteration

I can hardly speak and breath
yes it's true you're the finest ecstasy
I perceive that this was the time to seize
I identified you're not like another disease

Can't Believe You're Gone

2009-09-22T08:22:00.001-07:00

Our friendship and memories will never die
I can't believe you aren't here anymore
I wish there was something that could be exchanged
Sometimes I feel the absence of friends, I'm the one to blame

We're adults now, we have to proceed with our lives
Make something of ourselves and be success with time
It's just not fair the distance the world has given us
You could say I have issues with everyones departing

The past has shown me that the world doesn't always go the way I want
The reasons of my delusions is these earlier this years months
All the people familiar and close all left in a flash
I was left alone terrified and devastated for I have no one once again!

It's a cycle and it's just life, if they come back to me they were worth my time
I miss you brother and it's only been a short time
I feel regret that I didn't show you some more life
I should feel shame and shut my cavity with a needle and twine

It's only a short amount of moments that you'll be withdrawn from here
With all the bullshit of no communication, afflicts my heart
You've always been here for me since the start
Right now I'm beginning to cry and all I think about is your goofy Mikey smile

Man, we need you home but this is your time, so go ahead and fly

Could It Be The Deceiver

2009-09-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

Sun beating
I rise up for the hit
Music blasting
Traffic wrestling

A daydreamer of dreams
A thinker of thoughts
Water rises
Buildings high

Things aren't completely done
My head is usually in the clouds
I keep floating
It's just a high

I'm often a doubter
I just can't help to negate
People talk
Dogs take walks

Sometimes there's no way out
The hustle and bustle of city life
There's always the crowds
I'm still all alone

Sun out of hiding
Could it be the Deceiver?

Deep-Seated Metronome

2009-09-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

Hands in the air
Hips swinging
Feeling the beat
Like a deep-seated metronome

Breaking the ice
I try to be fair
Couldn't this be clear?
I'm walking on air

It's not what I want
It's about what I need
I'm not scared
I'm just a little backwards

Companionless

2009-09-14T10:47:00.001-07:00

Deep aspirations of perpetual bliss
How do I get caught up inside
These stories are just myths

Forgetful and undying friendships and memories
I’ll crawl deep within my thoughts
To make sure that I don’t lose this

Continued down the long marble hallway
It’s all just a nightmare I tell myself
These people are really staying to get you through

Companionless is what is feared
I let myself get close to a crowd
I want to cage myself from these jitters

I’ll conduct a new experiment
Let it all go to the other end of the world
It’ll save the embarrassment

You're Soaring Off Airman

2009-09-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

So here this is a letter to you
You see the fine print
It's all written for you

We'll miss you dearly
But you're making your own journey
It's time for a change and responsibility

We're all behind you 110%
We know you're strong enough to take this on
We're here for moral support and helping hands

Don't take the misery, don't let it tear you down
Think back to what you have home
Push and find your way back

We'll be waiting to take you back in
You still have your crying shoulders
We won't lie to you it'll be intense

You're ready for this better path
It takes time to find your way
We're happy you're finding your success

Rainbows Glow

2009-09-01T18:09:00.001-07:00

For all the things that I've been through
I'm here being suited
Finally I'm finding my way to a light
I can't help it I find myself giggling all the time

All this time I've always had fear
But now I look at as if I just needed to shed some tears
People don't know what's inside my head
I've never cared for their commentary

Someday I'll be carried away
But until then I live with joy everyday
Life is such a wonder
I could teach everyone the worlds wonders

Sun embracingly warm
Grass softly cushioned
Rain to help growth
Rainbows for the world to glow

Lonely Soldier

2009-09-01T18:08:00.007-07:00

Given things to cover these wounds
It's not how it works, I need help help with the bruises
Tired of all the fancy works
Someone help me fight through these crusades

Just look at me I'm pathetic
Look at the dark circles running under the eyes
Lets take a million years rest
I want to wave on the upcoming complications goodbye

How does this seem to be the stoniest part
Hand me the liquor bartender
But please don't ask me that part
It's a need to wash away my cries

The walls never change color
My mood always very mellow
My heart has become a closed box
Don't bother don't come to knock

Everyone leaves I'm still left here to be
Another lonely soldier to guard the front line
I hear explosions as they hit near by
I walk around unshaken never knew would fly

Shattered it hits my guide
I'm stuck in slow motion
I lay to die under enemies fire
I need some help with this defeat

Hate

2009-09-01T18:08:00.005-07:00

To the way I look to the way I play
I hate the way I present myself
And the way I cry myself to sleep

I must be the worst daughter
Everytime I get a brightness
I'm always torn and blamed

I hate the way I look
It must be pretty plain
My eyes don't glow with any stars

I must be just one of those people
That no one gives any respect
In the end I get the short stick

I'm not good enough for anyone
I'm tired of that fucking line
I just want someone to be my friend at my side

Just please I want a fucking break from life
To be able to see the light from this side
Maybe a spark of hope will come in time

Fate

2009-09-01T18:08:00.003-07:00

I'm bitter and cold
I just don't know anymore
The hand that once led me
Is out the door

i can't help but to wonder
am I really frail and weak
Or can it be another possibility
My existence still a mystery

I've been stamped and trampled
Like I don't mean anything
I feel like somethings out to get me
People are so full of jealousy

Degrading and manipulative
Thats all they show through
No kind words no happy forwards
Is there other handwriting on the wall

Cracken

2009-09-01T18:08:00.001-07:00

Lies spilling like vomit from the mouth
Why does it seem I'm spiraling down
A wave of chaos and confusion sets into the sea
Waves crashing down on me so I can't breath

Cracken sliding his slimy fingers around my ankles
Sucking me down to a different hell
As normal I take it as any other day
Looking it over that I may be sent home today

I'm kept prisoner
Head light can't hold my breath much longer
I'll lay to rest in my new coffin
He opens wide and my eyes come back to life

My body begins to fight
Here I'm safe my dolphins came with speed
Energized and I'm full of delight
Pulling me up and once again I catch my breathe

That's what this is, it's my life

Your Dark Mind

2009-09-01T18:07:00.002-07:00

Break the walls down to show you can fly
Words of love and wisdom float by
It's hard to listen through traffic little child
Cover your ears and find that silence

Search deep into that dark abyss
Did you find what you're looking for?
Bring it down to your level
You taste the evil and breath it in

So what's your payment
The devil wants your soul
That's his compensation
It's your fault you stooped so low

You're precious little boy
Too bad the devil owns your soul
How you getting out of this one?
I can't help you now you blew it up towards the sun

I'm Just Angry With The World Today

2009-09-01T18:07:00.001-07:00

I go for drives because speed calms the mind
I cry alone because everyones too caught up
I dry my own tears alone because I have to try
I pick myself back up that's the reason for life

People are just a bunch of hypocrites
There's never reason behind it
They can't stand up for what they say
The human race are a bunch of bitches

There's no way in hell I'm perfect
But at least I can say
I try to have a kind heart
Be understanding to all

Just want out of here
I can't stand all this tension here
Tell me something new hunni
maybe you can change my mind

Just in need of some kind of outlet
Everyones found their own life
But where the fuck am I to stay
It's difficult to be trapped in this mind

I beat the hell out of myself
For all the little stupid things
There's something missing
Guess I'm going solo on this outing

I'm tired of people fucking me over
I always see it coming, I decide to over look it
It's my fault that I turn the other cheek
I take shit I shouldn't have to deal with

It's my turn now I'll fuck you all over in the end
Funny how things change
my whole personality exchanges
Because once I'm done with it and I can't take it

Everyone that's in my way should build their own grave

Best In This World

2009-09-01T18:06:00.004-07:00

I hope you can forgive me for the way that I've been
I'll shut my mouth now and never speak words again
It's hard to carry on with all the shit I've been in
It's been a lonely road and I just don't know how to fit in

It's like a new start
I don't think it's fair to once again play this part
But you told me life isn't fair at all
Just remember you have your friends there so how would you know at all?

I'll try and forget the things that were
It's useless for me to dwell on things people never heard
I'll pack it up and throw it in the trash
Because if I think too much all I will do is crash

I hope you find what you're looking for
You really do deserve that's best in this world
I miss you with all my heart
So I wish you the best of luck with your new start

I'll Lay To Rest

2009-09-01T18:06:00.003-07:00

my body all it wants to do is sleep
but mind and soul wants time to weep
i don't think you deserve the satisfaction
to know my heart was broke off in some kind of fraction

Guess the time waiting for a coming
Wasn't worth it to still be my hunni
I sacrificed things you know I enjoyed
Just so I could see you a little more

"I'll do more hurting than helping right now"
surprise it hurts more that I don't have you now
"Heather, you're too good for him"
That might be true, but it's my fault for letting him in

The nice always finish last
This is a fact I know from my past
Someone want a turn next?
To finish me off and then lay me to rest

Emotional Trend

2009-09-01T18:06:00.001-07:00

heads spinning bright colors appearing
hands shaking and stars flashing
i'm an emotional and physical train wreck
i don't know which way is up or down

promises aren't what they used to be
faces are no longer the same to me
they complain they have no around
but they never take a look right in front of them

just going to hang by this noose
i may need a little boost
you didn't know it you helped me of this block
it's okay i'm numb i don't feel the pain at all

here look i picked this daisy
they turn away from me
i'm not even given one chance
to help with this emotional trend

Breathing Easy

2009-09-01T18:05:00.006-07:00

This morning I waked
With this feeling I can't shake
I don't know how to deal
For the way that I feel

The storm is rolling in
It's raining down like my tears
My hearts sinking to the sea floor
Ocean devours me whole, I can't do this anymore

Smothered by the sand
I hate the taste of this salt
Please get me out of here
I can't hear my thoughts

The roaring ocean clouds my brain
This is no fairy-tale land for me
I should've been straight
I should be the one to blame

Anxiety is what it brings
It's not breathing easy
I have so many things to settle
How can I break from this hell?

New Story

2009-09-01T18:05:00.005-07:00

It'll all be just a new story
I'm as strong as I want to be
Just get passed the uncertainty
I gotta believe in myself

I've got everything that I've ever wanted
Also everything that I've ever needed
I'm not as spoiled as it seems
Yes life has beaten me to complete dust

Now don't be judging me
I'm not complaining that my world is all shit
It hits all at once in my brain
Breaking me down til nothing remains

I say bring on the rain
I'm ready for the pain
Just gotta learn the game
And things will turn your way

It'll all be just a new story
I'm as strong as I want to be

I Wasn't Meant To Succeed

2009-09-01T18:05:00.003-07:00

It's become reality
I don't have much more mentality
I've lost the shoulder to cry on
No one to help keep going on

Psyche crashes with just a snap
Where should I place myself on this map?
Seems I'm unable to make decisions
Can I make one last inquisition?

I wade through the murky waters
I go at my own pace so I don't falter
They left me with this last thought
I guess they have me bought

Just hand me something I can die on
It won't be the first they've frowned upon
I wasn't meant to succeed
My world is crumbling before me

New Terrain

2009-09-01T18:05:00.001-07:00

This new terrain I’m about to embark on
Seems to be cracked
Here goes the next person
My mind is out of whack

It never seems to break
Birds flying south for winter
Eventually there will be no point to wake
All this changing, it may seem I’m bitter

Familiarity slowly seems to fade
Who is it next?
Remodeling to constant jaded
Is this what’s best?

Never knew all these mysterious
Could leave me in a corner weeping
I need some help, could you hold these
This is an obstruction to my brainstorming

Why God must this world seem nothing but suffering?
Lately I struggle to make out the acceptable
I contemplate way too much, should I take a turn running?
No because I think of myself as admirable

I need to chat about some of my uncertainties
Confusion has me belly flopping on deck
Let’s just relax under the trees
I’ll forget about all of my ambiguity

Me Questioning

2009-09-01T18:04:00.005-07:00

I’m a little shy
I s that okay?
I don’t know where to start
Did I miss my chance to stay?

I try to open up
but it seems I’m shot down
I just don’t want to hurt like before
did you hear about that little rhyme?

I’m scared to break that wall
I’m not sure if I’ll win
If I let you in?
Can you let me in?
Am I foolish & have high hopes?
Sometimes I can see through the dope
Just waiting for the right time
To speak my mind

Sometimes it’s crazy how I forget my worries
I’m sorry but it’s you
that has brought happiness
back to my eyes

Encore

2009-09-01T18:04:00.003-07:00

I’m sorry hunni
but it’s getting to that time
my hearts losing hope
I just want some consideration

I feel I have the right to know
But it seems I ask for too much
I just want to recognize you
and know how you work

Sometimes the feeling of being unappreciated
Its something overwhelming
I need an encore of my five senses
Just be straight forward with me

I won’t be bitter
or be gloomy
Just spill it
I’ll still be a pal

Sisters Boyfriends

2009-09-01T18:04:00.001-07:00

You take the poor girls money
Ask this naïve girl for fucking rides

You can’t even show the slightest of care
Ignore her fragile emotions

Bastard if I ever get a hold of you
Better be running your ass to those hills

You can’t even stand by the things you do
Maybe I should help you think things through

Straighten up you little fucker
Before I come home and kick your ass

I'm sorry Rachel I hate that careless ass

Just Another Sad Story

2009-09-01T18:03:00.003-07:00

Her sleepless habits are getting worse
She worries too much thats how it takes the course
It's her thoughts they always have her mind on replay
It gets old listening to it every day

The heart is almost empty
Her life never seems to get easy
Getting to her point of break down
Seems like people are waiting for her big freak out

She hasn't seen happiness in about a year
She thinks of death but that's not her fear
It's being alone without a care
She doesn't want to be someone who doesn't share

She's falling into that same category
She wasn't content with life
Someone please, help save her life!
I'm too young to be another sad story

I Do Have My Sanity

2009-09-01T18:03:00.001-07:00

Wandering down heavily guarded gates
Never saw a friendly face
The entrances are locked with heavy cement blocks
This for sure seems to be a never ending shield

Within the confined walls
Mischievous sealed plans atwork
Bring them on
It won’t breach my sanity

It’s a shock the way I feel sometimes
How I think of self destruction
So I can get away from this place
But don’t you make any accusations

I treasure life
It’s beautiful and breath taking
With all its mysterious ways
Which I question

I love to question
I’m inspired by all
I get absorbed and usually have good days
It’s the Nazi rules that bring my fall

Early Morning Wake Up

2009-09-01T18:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I could say we were closer
Then you remind me when you give so much shit
That it isn't worth my time to let you in

Wishing that I had tried harder to make it work
But I'm too damn stubborn to let it go
I'm sorry daddy could you please let me know

That everything said was taken to heart
So I won't bother I'll get the hell out of this world
I'll leave you at peace but you still leave me with this

Can I still be grown up and your baby girl?
Or have I fallen out of your world?

The Past Is The Past

2009-09-01T18:01:00.000-07:00

the past is the past
so please leave it there
i'm no longer here
so don't bother getting in

i'm tired of the arguing
and the sleepless nights
when all i can do is just
say i don't want you to be mine

you keep pressing and pressing
for something i don't need nor want
just leave me be but
i wish you the best of luck

keep your chin up and never look down
you can do this without me
i promise it'll get better with time
i'm due for something to make me smile

i can't seem to find my way out of this
when all i do is try my best
the worse of life never seems to rest
i just want to get something out of this

day after day after day
it seems to get better
but oops oh wait
it goes down hill again

i need my friends from back home
there's no one here to confide in
i just want to go home
my hearts in pain and i want to just see my bff